Thursday, 15 August 2013

The joys of pregnancy...

Please note this post is meant to be a little funny & a bit of a vent, I am very grateful that God blessed me with the joy of being pregnant & everything I am experiencing is so worth it for the blessing at the end... This is just a bit of a funny way to help deal with some of the not so fun stuff that comes with being pregnant. 
Ah the joys of being pregnant, not only does it come with a whole host of unglamorous symptoms that make you feel like the most unattractive person ever, but then there is the extra fun things that I am sure every single pregnant lady experiences, the joys of advice, comparisons, horrifying birth stories & opinions. 
Yes, sometimes we ask for it, some of it is helpful. But a good sized serve of it is complete and utter nonsense. 
And how do you deal with advice that is fairly questionable? Do you try to defend yourself and what your choices will be by backing up yourself with facts that you've read about or do you just say nothing? 
Personally, I prefer to be honest & straight with someone, especially if this person is close to me - if it's someone I barely know I just smile & nod, in one ear & out the other! 
But if it is someone I know well, I think if the person giving the advice is good enough to deal it out, they should expect you to have your own opinion you are going to voice & respect it... Once again, some advice is very helpful & makes sense, but there are always those times you sit there going "WTF". 
Then there is the comparisons, yes just because your pregnancy was different to mine does not make mine bad, a lie or wrong. Nor is the way I select to give birth. And when the time comes and the way I raise my child is slightly different to yours, it's not your place to tell me otherwise. (Unless of course I am raising an absolute feral who looks homeless, because honestly some people do need a clue when it comes to child raising & if I am raising a future criminal please help me out.) As long as I intend to raise a happy, healthy, loved, polite, educated & clean child - you have no business commenting negatively. 
Then there are the birth stories. Yes, I love to read them & I love having my friends tell me about their experiences, but no offence random person I barely know I don't need to know about your 3rd degree tear and labour that lasted for days... 
Oh and the opinions, dude for the record if you have any opinion on my appearance or any pregnant ladies look other than "WOW - you look awesome" - keep it to yourself!! 
No one wants to hear "you are looking fat", "wow your *insert body part* is really getting bigger" etc. That is just rude, I am aware of what is getting bigger and how I look, I don't need you to remind me! 
Having a bunch of insensitive comments, unwanted advice, terrifying tales & bullshit comparisons being shoved down your throat on a regular basis along with feeling like absolute crap & being so emotional is tough, I am surprised most pregnant women don't suffer a mental break down, no wonder 'pregnancy rage' exists. 
Seriously, feeling nauseous all day, being self conscious because clearly you don't look like you normally do, having reflux/heartburn so bad it makes it hard to sleep & also wakes you up at night, hardly getting any sleep, having back/rib pain so bad it honestly feels like your right side is being crushed, being more emotional than you have ever been before & having as much energy as an overweight house cat (mainly like my cat - Mishka) would make anyone feel like shit, but then having to deal with people who have no filter or no compassion - nice. It's just fucking splendid. 
It is not hard to be nice, nor is it that hard to be respectful of others & their feelings. 
Yes, we are all judgemental at times, we all judge everyone - I for one am bad with comparisons, mainly because I find I make mental notes of what sort of parent I don't want to be or what sort of child I will not be raising (sorry dirty looking kid with a shaved head & rat tail, wearing pyjama bottoms & no shoes being a nightmare in the grocery store - my child will not be like you. Nor will my daughter be like the little girl who was about 3 years old in the Ipswich Target the other day, who took her underpants off and pissed on the floor & then continued to run around pant-less stealing lollipops & chocolates while the poor staff had to clean up her mess, they found her Mother & told her - she was talking to someone & just shrugged it off. WTF. Actually my kids won't be like those kids - because I won't be like those Mothers) 
See we all judge, I can admit that I do, but honestly I am not going to walk up to those parents and tell them how to parent their spawn - if they want to raise little ferals, that's their prerogative. (Cue Britney Spears dance break to this SONG)  I just will make sure that I do things my way to insure my kids won't be like those kids. 
I realise sometimes people don't realise what they are doing & their intentions are in a good place, but some people just need a huge reality check. 
There are nicer ways to put things or better yet times to bite your tongue. If someone asks for your advice, give it. If it wasn't asked for, keep it to yourself! Please especially keep it yourself if the advice is just plain weird. 
We now live in a world where self education on things like pregnancy, child birth & parenting are so simple. Everything we want to know is right at our fingertips. There are countless books, apps, blogs & websites that hold so much information and even some of that is a little 'questionable'. 
The way I've found to deal when it comes to advice, reading materials, being religious & pretty much anything that is sometimes hard to deal with in life, I treat it like this quote by Kristin Chenoweth's Grandma on reading the bible;
 "I read the bible like I eat fish: I take the meat, and it serves me well, but I don’t choke on the bone."
Meaning, I take what works for me & I am not going to stress on the stuff that doesn't help me or suit me. 

I am not going to kill myself following everything word for word, what is right for me is what will be used and the rest will be put aside.

I realise everyone who is pregnant experiences the joys of people and their lack of filters, so this problem is nothing new... And not every person has the exact same pregnancy symptoms as me, some are so much worse (I am grateful that most of mine I can deal with easily) and some just breeze through pregnancy feeling brilliant (damn you). 
I just thought this was a funny kind of topic that most pregnant ladies deal with, something relatable... I was also inspired to write this blog by Elle over at 'What's Up MOMS' on YouTube (my newest favourite channel, I watch every video!). Watch her hilarious video below! :)


So I want to know, what is the worse/most questionable/bizarre piece of pregnancy advice ever given to you? Or what has been said to you that makes you go "what the..."? Leave your comments below, tweet them to me (@Bella_K) or Facebook me your replies. I would love to read some of them, so I know I am not alone with this! :)

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3 comments:

  1. Hehe, thanks for the giggle!! I also loved that YouTube video, thanks for sharing!

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  2. Forgot to add my own comment share "Oh you're having a boy? I really thought you'd be having a girl because you're getting chubby in the face".... Yep, thanks for that!

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