Ok this post will probably be a bit rambley and bit like a journal entry, but we are friends right? I can tell you this stuff & vent to you...
Do you ever have those feelings where you are like you are just happy? Like you maybe having a crappy week but something happens and it just perks your day up a bit? I love those moments and I like to mentally store them in the back of my mind so next time I am a bit down I can remember one of them! The other day at the grocery store I was with Mum whilst she was doing her groceries (obviously) and a lady we didn't know started chatting to Mum, she commented on how lovely it was to see a Mother & daughter so close (because we were joking with each other) & she complimented me on my figure & then she said I reminded her of Princess Kate! Like WOW, Kate Middleton! I nearly died! I think my response was something like "Serious? Oh wow, thank you so much, WOW!". I love her & her style! This was the best compliment I have ever received from a stranger! It's fair to say I was pretty pleased, I may have walked down one or two (or three) of the grocery aisles doing a princess wave & telling Mum she should be happy to walking with someone that could be mistaken for royalty. But I was just joking, I honestly don't think I am as pretty as Princess Kate the only thing we have in common is we are brunettes, but it's just little things like that, that make me smile. Like the first comment about how close Mum & I was good enough & then this lady just out did herself by saying I looked like Kate! I was so stoked & I will be filing that compliment away for one of those days when I look in the mirror and go, "Serious God you gave me this face?". And we all have those days and next time a stranger or even a friend compliments you receive it graciously & file it away!
Lately I've been a bit down, I've mentioned it in a past few blogs that I am not feeling super cheery or well. And you know sometimes people just aren't 'Sally Sunshine,' my 'issues' (I guess we will call it that) are kind of irritating a lot of it could be avoided if people weren't so mean, stupid & ignorant.
I guess I've just got a bit of stress in my life and it really builds up and takes it toll. And at this point in my life I shouldn't be stressing as it's not good for me! I will admit that I am a very stressful person unfortunately (I am trying very hard to work on it, any tips on dealing with stress would be appreciated!! Leave a comment below, tweet me or comment on the Facebook page), I take a lot of things to heart and lately I have had to hold a lot of anger & stress inside because of what I have had to deal with pretty much over the past 10 or so months.
When I was growing up in my family if I had a problem with my brothers or my parents we expressed our feelings. We said what was on our minds even if it wasn't very nice and sometimes we would (& still do) get mad at each other and not talk for a few hours or if it was bad maybe a few days but then it would blow over and we could move on, because what we were feeling inside was released and we felt better we didn't have that thing eating us up inside it was released & the weight was lifted. I honestly grew up thinking most families did this. Well, I now know that this is not the case, I am now put in a situation where I can't voice my opinion without being spoken over or having the person I'm talking to throw a tantrum and storm out of a room (these are not children I'm dealing with either, these people are older than me)! This to me is beyond frustrating, like seriously? I don't know if it is the fact I am a woman who has an opinion most of the time & that I will speak up and defend myself, I will defend the people I love and I will call someone out if they being ridiculous. It just puzzles me how mean people can be & sometimes it's sneaky mean, like passive aggressive kind of stuff, that's the worst I hate it! Like trust me I can be mean, if you offend or hurt someone I love I will be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. 13 years of being bullied at school has made me one of the most defensive & quick thinking people I know. Seriously, I was (& still am) very tiny at school I had nothing else, I couldn't fight someone my only form of defence was words. It also went for me and my sister, she could beat me up (she is tougher & slightly bigger than me) but I could cut her down in seconds. And I have so many things I want to say to people that are really hurting not only me but someone I care about so deeply and I can't. Just because people are to full of themselves to listen and can't be proven wrong and they just won't open their eyes and see what other people are really like.
Like I could be a complete fake idiot & tell people what they want to hear, but honestly doing that makes me sick. I was raised to be nothing but honest and that's how I intend to stay. My parents taught us all some very important life lessons I now realise & will always remember; we were praised & rewarded for the good, we knew when we did something bad, we were given nothing for no reason, we knew hard work was the way to achieve what we wanted & always stand up for yourself & be honest (there are a ton more things, but this post is already way long). My parents are great people & I think I have very strong characteristics of both of them & lucky for my enemies a bad temper is one of them and it is genetic from both sides & I thank them for that!
Anyway I'm off topic again...
To be fair I gave these people ('issues') every chance in the world, I was nice & I tried so hard but when you be cruel, spiteful, bitchy & pathetic to me you only get a few chances and they have well and truly used up all their chances. Like I just cannot possibly be like "sure friend come to our house, insult me, insult what we do, praise an idiot and trash us" I just cannot deal with that kind of stuff anymore. It drives me nuts!
This is a time in our life where we our building ourselves up, this is meant to be a happy & stress free time. But it is honestly like people are dead set on making life hard or unpleasant for us. And for some crazy reason these people think things can just be forgotten? Like are you for real? You offended me on countless occasions at some of the biggest events of my life, I let some go but like hell I am letting others slide.
And reading this you may think well maybe I should be the bigger person and let it go? Trust me I have let countless things go, I can't let anymore things slide. Nothing I do, nothing we do is good enough it's insane, I have never been put in such a strange situation like the one I've landed myself in. And the issue of 'respect' was bought up the other week to us, we are both & I most certainly am a firm believer in respect works two ways. Now Trent and I respect a lot of people, my parents, family, friends, the elderly, service men & women, emergency service people , etc. You know the normal people and I respect everyone and anyone who shows me respect. I however cannot respect someone who does not respect me. It just can't be done. I'm sorry, it just can't. If you treat me like dirt, well my friend expect the same thing right back. I will not be treated badly by anyone nor will anyone I care about be disrespected in front of me.
And to be honest Trent and I are quiet different when it comes to dealing with confrontation, he is much more calm & lets things go but I know when things hurt him & well I am not (as you can tell by this novel of a post). I just don't know, he just prefers to shut people out & that's it, I would prefer to deal with the situation at hand tell the people who are wrong that they are & why and then hopefully move on from it. But honestly I think I am going to swing on his side of dealing with things this time (unless I get my chance to voice my opinion & let me assure you I am not scared of people I will defend myself & those I love until I am blue in the face). This year one of New Years resolutions as a couple was this;
(Sorry about the f-bombs, but we are adults and every now and then the 'F' word is totally appropriate!)When someone fucks up, let it go. If they keep fucking up, let them go.
In all seriousness, we are living by this. I personally have felt a bit hurt by someone (different person) lately for like the millionth time & I have just taken a big step backwards, if I'm not good enough to share things with or be included in their life or be treated how I should be treated I shouldn't do everything for them. And honestly this is pretty much the way my husband deals with things, we kind of are just done being hurt by people & being treated like we are nothing. We don't get respected as a couple or individuals so why on earth would we want to associate with people who are so mean? So now we are just throwing our hands in the air and saying we are done. I am trying to take on board his way of thinking, 'just don't care' attitude. Since writing this post and getting so much of my chest (writing is like therapy for me) I am now a little confused that if I was confronted by these 'issues' would I just laugh, shake my head and leave or would I stand and fight? Or I could just say; 'bless your heart' or 'I'll pray for you'. I guess it would all depend on the moment but either could happen. It could be a bit of all of them... What would you do?
Sorry about this kind of 'angry/sad' post, it just feels good to write. And if by chance you feel you have been personally vilified by me please remember I only write the truth, I've never lied in any of my posts and I didn't feel this way over nothing, so maybe instead of writing some lame nasty comment back you take a long hard look at yourself and how you act and change it. If you still feel vilified please feel free to contact me directly to discuss the issue.
Well, loves that is I all I have, I promise I will try to write more positive and upbeat posts it just feels good every now and then to vent, hope you don't mind. I love this blog so darn much! I will now end this by reminding myself that a lady thought I looked like Princess Kate and to me that is awesome and it makes me smile!
Stay positive, remember the little things that make you smile & try to block out the bad. (I seriously need to take my own advice!)
Love you all and thank you so much if you made it to the end of the post! Gold star for you!
This is so true.
Yes I admit it, I am extremely sarcastic young lass. I can't help it!
The top 2 I need to work on, the bottom 3 I am pretty good at!