As you all may know I LOVE country music. I really enjoy music that actually has a meaning behind it & a story. Not just words describing a 'night out' or some head ache giving tune that talks about "shufflin'". Like really what the hell is "shuffling"? Maybe I am just old.
I love a lot of country music artists & one I've taken a bit of an extra liking to lately is Brad Paisley (& no it's not just because he is attractive). I love his songs & how they actually mean something. One of my favourite 'meaningful' songs this year (it's not a new song it has been out for awhile) is 'Letter To Me' by Brad Paisley. This songs basically talks about what you would say if you had a chance to write a letter to yourself when you were 17. The thought of that to me is awesome! I wish so bad I could write a letter to myself & give myself a heads up on life from 'now me' to '17 me'. Even if it was just a few dot points I had quickly thrown together, anything that could give me direction back when I was 17. Back then I felt really lost with myself & unsure of 'who I was'. But life worked out for me (finally!)
For those that do not know the song this is it;
Anyway I thought I would write an open letter to myself back then;
This is future Bindy... Hi!
Firstly please don't stress about life. I know saying don't stress is pointless as nothing has changed there, I still stress out so bad over anything. But everything turns out how we dreamed. It does take a few rough years to finally get to our dream life, but we make it! You are 17 years old; so that means you are in grade 11-12 at Blackwater high. Don't stress about grades; you pass almost everything with ease. Except math, just don't even worry yourself with that, it's a lost cause. Don't make someone in high school your whole world, because it's pointless and we can do better! (And trust me, we do!!)
Don't trust anyone. Really, I mean that. The people who you think you can trust end up hurting you & using you. Be strong & be only for yourself. Have some self respect, stick up for yourself more. Life gets really crap when you are 17 (& 18, & 19) & you feel like there is nothing else that could make it worse, but it gets worse. You feel like running away, crying, vanishing - whatever. Basically you can't run away from your problems & you will learn the easiest way to recover from a 'scandal' or a rough time is to be confident, make those that talk about you think you aren't even phased by their bitchiness. And yes, you live in a very small mining town; it's full of bitching people, lies, mean girls & nosey rumour spreading locals. You will often be spoken about. Just get used to it, roll with it.
Please treat our parents better. They don't deserve the way they get treated. I realise that now... And listen to them, most of what they say is true.
I could give you a list of things not to do to avoid the rough times; but I think by not doing those things I wouldn't be the person I am (we are?) today. Those mistakes make us stronger, more honest & more real. And when I say mistakes I don't mean minor mistakes, I am warning you; we screw up BIG time. But just let it slide by. At the end of the day, it's just highschool. And it is no where near the best time of our life. Whoever said "your teenage years are the best years of your life" was an idiot. They are easily the worst! I promise you that after 20 life changes, it gets better. Don't give up. All these rough times make you into, my opinion a great person. To prove that life gets better & that those mistakes don't kill us I (we) recently married a man that when I was 17 I never dreamed of having, because let's face it we like to attract complete losers! So please don't get attached to any guys in high school, they aren't worth the pain & drama. And not one of them even compares to what the future holds!
I know regardless of what I write you will do what I say not to do. Because, I am you & you are me & we are stubborn, pig headed & we know it all. Especially when we are 17.
So please just take better care of yourself, be nicer to our family, hug Sooty the cat more, don't care for most of the people you go to school with; because once it's done less than 10 of them will genuinely care for you & never let anyone make you feel worthless & stupid; because we are not! Trust me looking back from the future to the days at school & back to the future in comparison to others our future life rocks!! Those people that you want to be friends with but they treated you like crap, trust me their lives are lame! And surprisingly one of the few people from school who turns out to be a true friend is someone you would never guess, I won't ruin the surprise for you, but it takes a few years to happen, but she is great friend now... On the topic of friends, stop being so defensive & treat others how you wish to be treated. Everything is not as dramatic as it feels. (OK to a 17 year old girl, everything is dramatic. But please try and step away from tough situations & think "is this worth all the fights & stress"?)
Do not stress about not 'fitting in' because we were born to be different & we will never be 'average'. Please never stop expressing our opinions, please don't be sad about life, please don't waste our time on the people who treat you bad & please trust your gut instinct - trust me when it says don't do something; DON'T DO IT! Do not second guess your instinct...
Please apply to do a student exchange program to America. I guess that's the only regret I have looking back that I didn't travel when I was younger, so do that ok. And do not listen to anyone when they say travelling is stupid. Travel instead of going to university, because uni is stupid! That turns out to be the biggest waste of our time ever! Gosh, go do a photography course, a makeup course. Anything, do something that we are interested in! Don't feel so pressured to go to uni. It is not our path!! So save our money, get a passport & go anywhere!! Just get away but be back in Ipswich & ready to work at a casual job around the November after we turn 20, we meet someone life changing then!! ;)
Remember to love yourself, stay positive & maybe take home-ec at school instead of biology as even though you pass biol' we have no use for it now in our life... And never ever stop taking photos. But focus more on our family & pets. Those photos are the ones we end up treasuring more.
"Have no fear, because these are no where near the best years of our life".
Love forever, Belinda. x
PS: Start a blog & start making YouTube videos NOW. Get a head start on the blogging trend & document our life.
What would you write? I find writing things is really therapeutic. I went through so much crap in school, it was such a terrible time for me. I don't wish to go back in time as what is done is done. Every silly mistake I made just makes me the person I am today. I've seen the "Butterfly Effect"; changing the smallest thing may mean I may not end with the great life I have right now. Everything that happens whether it be good or bad happens for a reason. I truly believe that. In the moment the bad times feel like they will fully consume you & drown you. You think there is absolutely no way out, that you have lost it all. But it all slowly, inch by inch starts to get better! Days, weeks, months & years pass and you have learnt to deal with it. You realise what you did was idiotic & you do regret doing it, but understand that you can't change the past. You cannot take it back, so you learn to except it & let it go. Also with all my 'stupid acts', Trent knows each & every one of them. I think it's really unhealthy to live with lies. Especially being in something as serious as marriage. What's the point of it, if it's all based on lies. Being married to someone means they love you for who you were, are & will be. I love Trent for those exact things & he loves me back... I couldn't be more happy with the way my life has turned out. But I really wish back when I was 17 I could've read that letter, so I could feel like I wasn't a lost cause, I wasn't alone & what I done wasn't going to ruin my whole life. But I survived either way, I learnt at the end of the day you have to learn to rely entirely on yourself. Don't be dependant on others because when they are gone you have no one. Once you understand that, you learn to accept yourself for who you are, you work out who you really are & you learn to like & eventually love the person you are. Because if you hate who you are, why on earth would anyone else want to love you? Now I don't mean I am in love with myself, sure I have things about me I don't like but I am what I am. God made me this way & well if I don't like something I have to work on changing it & if it's unchangeable well I just have to learn to accept it. I think school is pretty rough for a lot of people, but eventually it all works out ok. It gets better. You just have to tell yourself that & hold yourself up. I promise you it does get better!!
I hope if any of you are in high school & are reading this that you really keep in mind what I have said. Before you do something think for a second; "if in 6 years when I am looking back at my life, would I be happy with this choice"? I wish I had honestly thought that way. And if any of you are older than 'high school' age, I really recommend taking this way of thinking seriously, especially if you have any regrets about things done in the past. It really helped me move on from things in my life.
So my lovelies that is all for tonight, sorry for such a long & emotional (?) blog post...
What advice would you give yourself if you could send a letter to your 17 self? Or what advice would you give to a 17 year old girl?
Love you all.
PS; If I could include some photos in the "letter to me". I would pick these;
In the letter I would tell myself to stay home this night & not go to this party. It's one of the worse nights of your life... You disappoint yourself, a friend betrays you, you disappoint the people most important to you, you make stupid decisions this night & it causes some serious pain. So just stay the hell home. Actually try not to party so much...
The person beside you here turns out to be a great friend. Surprising hey! :)
Try to enjoy school. I know it sounds weird but some days we actually miss being there. It's like a free social life!!
Remember that we are a good person inside. No matter what happens or what we do! Try to have more faith as well, you wear that necklace for a reason. God has a plan for us all, we just need to stop being so ignorant & accept guidance. Thinking we know everything & what is best for us only leads us to make great mistakes. Just trust your instincts.
Be happy, enjoy life, do not take anything to seriously & realise we will be ok. "Because I'm still around to write this letter to me". x.B